i love you.

& nothings gonna stop us now.

"sometimes people put up walls not to shut people out but to see who cares enough to break them down"

<--wait, is that a big enough smile? because i think im happier than that.  aww thats cute buahaha, im funny. boooooooooooooooooooooooooooowiggywiggy. wow i type in blue now! muahahahaha. feeling green?

soooo. im psycho today, so what? lol.
whhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

updates, updates. hah, whats there to update?

i suppose i should say, Christmas is coming soon. & i'm very happy about that. :)

okay. im done.

& btw myspace is being lesbian right now. >.<

 rose.

why cant i let go? what keeps me attached to you? why won't you LET me let go? why do you always pull me back, even when you DON'T know you are doing so? why wont you let me be? why cant i let you be?

why dont you just leave me here in the dark? i appreciate the friendship, but the friendship leads to mixed signals....and mixed signals drive ME of all people, crazy.

i wanna be friends with you.

NO. i wanna be your girlfriend. as pathetic as that sounds.

and you dont even care.

i could do ANYTHING for you, and you could simply, careless.

if i let you go, then WHY am i the one dying over here?

*sigh*

updation?

blahhhh.

stupid myspace. NOT WORKING. >.<  

rawr. it better come up soon.

anywho. did you everthink about if something was becoming too much for you to handle? like too much, for your heart to hold and carry? something about MY life considerably says..."give up, now." and yet, a part of my heart, says "hold on. even if something tells you to let go. theres something better in store for you. dont let go of your life."  but why, is everywhere i turn, another crumbling castle, another work of art broken, another..emotional breakdown brought out. its weird. there are nights, where i go to sleep, OH so fine. and everything simply, okay....and other nights, where i cant sleep at all because theres so much on my mind. and there are some nights...where i dont dream at all, and yet...there are BUNCHES of nights, where all i can dream about is him, or other things that bring me down. and there are also dreams...that are SO confusing..that i dont even understand, WHY i get them..because they make NO sense at all to me...it just makes me think more than i already do...and that sucks. because beinglonelyathome=thinking=remembering=feelingemo=crying. and crying, is the last think i want to do. i was on an emo diet for petes sake...it was going swell for a while; i just dont exactly know whats wrong...

-its lovely how theres always something better than me.
-how something always finds a way to replace me.
-how something im holding the tightest to, slips right through my fingers.
-how hopes can be raised so high over a few words, and be shot down, with but one.
-how the best part of your life, turns out to be the worst memory you think about.
-how the past, always finds a way to pop up in the future.
-how your favorite memory turns to be your greatest mistake.
-when "i love you" is taken seriously, when it wasn't even meant.
-when memories can make you cry, just as much as they used to make you smile.

*sigh* theres been far too much on my mind. FAR far too much. i cant handle it.

theres no one to wipe these tears away. =(

dude.

i havent been here in like forever! for like literally. its been almost a year since i posted something. thats extremely odd. well tomorrow is sophomore banquet. how interesting. its time to party hardy ;) hahahahahah. nah not that hardy. i have a busy day ahead of me. , wake up, pick individual roses up for the girls, pick up jons lei, get money for pictures, get to sophomore banquet. then i can have fun fun fun. =)

that is all.

oh yesss.

<3